If you could rid the world of one disease what would it be?
I've been dealing with endometrial cancer since February of 2015, so cancer is an easy pick.
What board game do you hate the most?
Battlestar Galactica. Absolutely tedious.
Has anyone ever saved your life?
When I was living in Alaska, I managed to catch pneumonia walking to work every day. I had just left my first husband, and had no transportation, and barely any money. My illness got so bad that I honestly felt like I was going to die. A friend I had very recently made drove me to the ER, and I had a short hospital stay without insurance. When I got back home to the motel I was renting, I had four weeks of bed rest, and no income. That friend's mother -- who I had never met -- gave me bags of groceries so I didn't starve. I don't know if my life was honestly saved, but it felt like it.
What bad habit do you have that you know you need to break, but dont really want to?
Eating fast food.
If you could choose your age forever, what age would you choose and why?
Thirty. I was stupid in my twenties, and who in their right mind would want to be a teenager again? I wouldn't want to be a child because adult things are too much fun.
Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? Why?
George Carlin. I tend to agree with him.
If you had to spend the rest of your life as a tree what kind of tree would you be?
Great Basin Bristlecone Pine. The oldest one is 5066 years old, and there are several that have lived for nearly as long. I would love to see what the world looks like in five thousand years.
Would you become a professional bank robber if you knew you would never get caught?
No. I'm the sort of person who couldn't live with myself over that sort of guilt.
If you could deliver a speech to the entire world, what would you say?
I would quote Vonnegut. “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?
I have scars across both of my nipples, but the right one is particularly stupid. I had two lumpectomies in my breasts and after the second surgery I was left with one that is a little mangled, and healed inverted. I can't get it to pop back out! It makes me sad.
Would you like to live to be 200 years old?
Absolutely. Most of the time I love being alive.
What is one thing you refuse to share?
I refuse to share it.
Would you rather be a hobbit or an elf for 24 hours?
I would rather be a hobbit for LIFE! Almost everything about how hobbits live appeals to me.
What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?
I'm pretty sure that Your Highness made me laugh the most in the theatre, but it was mostly because my husband was giggling like a maniac, as well as the rest of the theatre. I was certainly feeding off of the crowd. I tried to watch it later on DVD, but couldn't even get through it. I'm not generally a fan of dick jokes outside of the big screen, for some reason.
Have you ever chased down an ice cream truck as an adult?
I haven't chased one down, but I have purchased from one that was sitting still. Gotta have your rocket pops!
What do you think phones will be like in 10 years?
As someone who resisted cell phones as long as possible, and is still using a pay as you go burner phone that I've had for six years, I can't even begin to fathom. I am absolutely behind the times, and smart phones confuse the heck out of me.
Youre in prison with a life sentence, what was your crime?
I can only assume that whatever I did, it was on accident or under duress. But probably involves killing someone to be a life sentence.
What's the worst thing you ever did as a child and what was your punishment?
When I was a freshman in high school I was on the volley ball team. All of the girls hated our coach... he pushed us extremely hard during conditioning, to the point that girls were passing out. He made us do team building exercises, like laying on our back and holding our legs off the ground for ten minutes straight... and if any girl put their legs down he would restart the timer. It was tough. Anyway, a bunch of the senior girls hatched this plot to get rid of him by accusing him of sexual harassment. The reason? It was the 90s and all the girls were wearing boxer shorts... it was just the fashion. He made fun of a few girls saying that he had boxer shorts as well, and then pulled the waistband of his pants down just enough to see the waistband of his boxer shorts. Barely anything at all, a little tilt of fabric. They cried foul, and the school powers-that-be gathered the whole team together to discuss the allegations. One by one the senior girls came up and stated how they felt sexually harassed by our coach. The powers-that-be asked all of the other girls to speak up if they had anything to say. Our coach was standing in front of us all crying and apologizing. I felt like I should come forward and say that I didn't think he had done anything wrong. But I didn't. No one did. And the coach/teacher was fired... I have to think that this probably impacted his entire life. He was a young man, just out of college.
My punishment? I have to live with it.
If you could trade lives with anyone for a day who would it be and why?
Marianela Nuñez, principal dancer with the Royal Ballet in London. When I was younger I had dreams of being a ballet dancer. I've never even had a lesson. I want to know what it is like to be graceful.
What fashion trend do you wish would go away?
Sweatpants with writing on the butt.