Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?
2016: Alcohol, definitely. Coffee is a once in a blue moon thing for me, either black with dessert or made into something fancy at a coffee shop as a standalone treat. Beer is what runs through my veins in lieu of blood.
2020: Currently, coffee. Ask me again when PSL season is over.
What insect do you wish would completely go extinct?
2016: Mosquitos. I personally hate fruit flies more, but I know they need those for science.
2020: I moved to Arkansas since my last answer. -Definitely- mosquitos.
What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?
2016: This is a really tough one for me to answer. It always seems like I've seen a below-average number of movies. There are a lot of movies I've seen and like- The Big Lebowski, Office Space, Anchorman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Life of Brian- that regularly make top-however-many lists of "funniest movies" (because yes, I Googled for help on this question), but I don't know that I'd call any of them absolutely the funniest movie I've ever seen.
2020: The Emperor's New Groove is the funniest movie in the world and you're wrong if you disagree.
What is the last book you read?
2016: I'm usually reading a fiction and a non-fiction at the same time. Currently, my fiction is "Carved in Bone" by Jefferson Bass and my non-fiction is "Vegas and the Mob: Forty Years of Frenzy." The last book I FINISHED reading was "Brave New World."
2020: "The Girl Who Could Move Sh*t With Her Mind." I recommend it. World's most relatable superpowered protagonist.
If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be?
2016: Abraham Lincoln as depicted in "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter."
2020: Literally any fictional President of the United States, as long as he got the job when he came to life. It's been a rough four years.
If you were in the circus what kind of performer would you be? (Clown, tight-rope walker, etc)
2016: Probably a mime or some similar type of theatrical performer. Physical feats and dexterity aren't my forte.
2020: I'm now four years older with even less dexterity, so still a mime.
What was your favorite color or Crayola crayon growing up?
2016: Motherfucking Purple Mountain Majesty, bitches.
2020: Motherfucking Purple Mountain Majesty, bitches.
If you could trade lives with anyone for a day who would it be and why?
2016: My Sindome char. I don't have an exceptionally visual imagination, so being able to see Withmore and the people in it for a day would be wiz. It'd have to be a non-work day on my side, though. I wouldn't want to deal with the consequences of her doing my job for a day when I got back.
2020: Still my (first, now reaped) Sindome char. I'd get to see the world of 2105 and do crimes with the love of my life. And I'm much more confident now that I wouldn't come back to chaos. She could fuck around on Reddit at work all day just as well as I do.
What country would you never want to visit?
2016: Never? I can't say there's anywhere I'd absolutely never want to go. I love to travel. I guess anywhere that my nationality, religion, or gender would put me at real risk of harm is low on my list, though.
2020: Still can't think of a 'never,' but there are several 'would be strongly dissuaded if I weren't fluent in the local language' options now.
Would you let me slap you for a hundred dollars?
2016: Yes. No further questions.
2020: Wait. Who gets the $100?
Who was your first celebrity crush?
2016: Marina Sirtis. Though I guess my crush was more on Deanna Troi than on her.
2020: First and continuing celebrity crush Marina Sirtis. Watching the Star Trek cast dunk on politicians is living my best life on Twitter.
Whats your favorite viral YouTube video?
2016: I don't know that it ever went fully VIRAL, but... https://youtu.be/G5KxZ5Lc_YA
2020: This will never change.
If you could break any world record which one would it be?
2016: Most swear words invented by a single person. But since that's not a real record, I think I'm more likely to be the owner of the world's oldest cat.
2020: Definitely world's longest nap without dying.
Would you rather be a hobbit or an elf for 24 hours?
2016: Elf. I'm short, fat, hairy, and eat a lot, so I'm already pretty much a hobbit.
2020: Still true.
If you inherited a single room off-the-grid cabin in the woods, would you be excited or disappointed?
Excited. I need to unplug more and that would be motivation to do it. Also, thunderstorms plus cabin in the woods? Amazeballs.
If you had to read an entire encyclopedia, which letter would you choose?
F. It was my favorite encyclopedia out of my grandpa's collection when I was a kid because it had color pictures(!) of all the flags of the world.
If you had to spend the rest of your life as a tree what kind of tree would you be?
An artificial Christmas tree. Keep me in a box in the attic for eleven months, then dress me up all pretty and let me stare at your family before dismembering me and forgetting about me until next year.
What was your favorite color or Crayola crayon growing up?
I already had this question and I can't get it to give me another one, so does anybody remember the scented Crayola crayons? I think they still make them, but back in the day, they had smells like 'chocolate' and 'licorice' that they don't make anymore because kids kept eating them. I loved the way the licorice one smelled.
Would you like to live to be 200 years old?
If my life were scaled in such a way that the physical and mental health symptoms that typically plague people beginning in their 70s and 80s didn't happen until a proportional spot in my 200-year lifespan, absolutely. If I had to live out the second 100 years in the body and mind of a 100-year-old but still declining from that point, no way.
Do you think all dogs go to heaven?
I believe all living things- as well as intangible entities- are incarnated from a shared pool of Divine spirit, and that upon death, each soul rejoins the pool. So to use the closest Christian analogue to that belief, yes.