|-||Kiwi||7m||I guess there's always something killing me.|
|c||Mephisto||1m||Malt doch nicht immer den Teufel an die Wand.|
|-||Shanee5000||3h||Love as thou wilt.|
|a||Cerberus||1h||Head Builder & GM when I need to|
|j||Johnny||2h||New Code Written Nightly. Not a GM.|
|And 20 more hiding and/or disguised|
A short story by Slither
Doctor Huos patient was lying prone on the blood spattered surgery table, out cold from a double dose of the clear. The surgery shack was quiet but for the Juicy Vee song Huo was humming under his breath as he worked, and the whiring and gnashing of the appendage surgery rig he worked with. The SK Studly DoRight() his patient was here to have installed was sitting on a surgery tray next to the patients prone form. Billed as the greatest and most advanced technology the company has ever created, it enabled the bearer to be the stud that does her right. He might not be able to feel much when Huo was done, but she sure would.
Huo had blocked out thirty minutes for the surgery and the clock was creeping toward minute twenty five. He redoubled his efforts and the whirling, squishy sound of flesh being cut and removed intensified.
A few minutes later he reached into the patient and pulled something out. Placing it in a cooler with ice at the foot of the surgery table. He spent a few minutes stitching before he straightened and glanced at the clock. A minute and a half left.
He reached down, gripping a scalpel in his hand and made the three quick incisions that the surgery he had been hired for required. He gripped the patient's package with his free hand and yanked, it came free with more squishy sounds. He tossed it in an arc toward the trash can. The arc was a bit to high and it impacted the wall behind the trash can and left a globby red trail on the wall before clunking into the trash. Kerberos, the Doctors pet and bodyguard, lifted its head from where it lay upon the edge of the surgery tray. Its eyes following the meat through the air but it was trained well enough not to surge after it. It would wait until the Doctor was done, and then have its meal.
Huo placed the scalpel back on the surgery tray and wiped his hands on the front of his apron. He picked up the appendage surgery rig with one hand, and the Studly DoRight() with his other. He pressed the Studly DoRight() to the flesh between his patient's leg and then the appendage surgery rig on top of it. Keying a single button he activated the installation routine on the rig and it suctioned itself to the patient's body.
Huo stepped away, his job almost complete. He pulled a pack of Black Deth cigarettes from the front pocket of his apron and slipped a smoke from the pack. Not bothering to remove his surgery gloves, he placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it. He puffed away, watching the clock above the surgery table as the final thirty seconds of the appointment ticked away. A minute after that the appendage surgery rig beeped to signify it was complete. He stepped forward, flicking his cigarette in the direction of the trashcan and removed the rig.
Leaning down he inspected the rigs work. As perfect as could be. Even third hand rigs did good work. He leaned back and grabbed a syringe of yellow from the surgery tray and pressed the needle to the patient's neck, just below the jaw line.
A few minutes later the patient came around.
"Youah go experience sum payne in yu abdomen. Yu makea real careful move foah few week. Maybe takea pain killah. Huo give youah goo noodle. Jus makeah sure youah dont drink too much..."
"Wh-- what? Abdomen?" The patient said, moving his hand up to his abdomen from where it had been fondling the newly installed Studly DoRight(). He found the fresh stitching and frowned, looking confused.
"Ya, bout dat" Huo said, grinning widely and revealing nicotine stained teeth.