I want to discuss the need to take a break from the game when you need one. There are a few reasons that this might be needed:
What I've seen in my over 23 years, 1 month and 20 days playing and staffing Sindome, is people 'sticking it out' when they are experiencing things that might be better solved by taking a few days or a week off the game to clear their head.
I myself have been a victim of this. It has happened to me. Multiple times. The times that I didn't take a break, things just got worse. My mental health degraded. My responses to normally fairly mundane or benign issues or situations became increasingly erratic or knee-jerk, and eventually, I was either forced to take a break or I got so pissed off that I "quit".
I've seen this play out with admin, and with players, more times than I care to count.
I'm not saying that in every case someone taking a break for a 3-7 days would have solved the problem, but I think in the vast majority of it, taking time off the game has lead to healthier outcomes than just continuing to try to stick it out.
We all have a responsibility to recognize when the game is negatively affecting us and to take steps to address that, including taking breaks when necessary. But I also think we, as a community and as staff, have a responsibility to create an environment where stepping away feels safe, normal, and supported.
Nothing wrong with being attached to your character, but getting so attached that things happening in the game are impacting IRL, is not good. And if that then translates to treating other players or staff poorly, or making decisions your character wouldn't have otherwise made, you're not doing yourself or anyone you're playing with any favors.
I want to change the culture around taking a break. I would prefer this to be something we all police in ourselves, but that isn't always a realistic option. Sometimes, as much as a staffer might tell someone they need to take a break, they just don't. Or they take a few hours when they should have taken a few days.
We don't want someone feeling like they have to log in when they're having a terrible time because they're afraid they'll lose their IC job or get punished for missing an IC obligation. While we can't guarantee that absolutely nothing will happen to your character while you're away, staff can generally help make reasonable accommodations when someone needs time off. That's already something we do, and I want to make sure people know about it.You don't have to be at your breaking point to justify taking a break. You don't even have to be experiencing significant bleed. Sometimes you just need a few days away from the game, and that's perfectly reasonable. I'd rather see people take regular breaks and enjoy the game for years than push themselves until they burn out entirely.
Also there is a difference between experiencing bleed and acting inappropriately because of it. Experiencing bleed isn't misconduct. Having strong emotional reactions isn't misconduct. Even struggling to recognize that you need a break isn't misconduct. However, repeatedly lashing out as a result, is.
I'm looking for a few things from the discussion here:
Sometimes bleed/other reactions can lead to escalating situations where someone is repeatedly getting into conflicts, behaving inappropriately, or finding themselves unable to disengage. In those circumstances, I think staff should have the ability to intervene, potentially including temporary enforced breaks.
I want us to figure out what those interventions should look like, what objective criteria would justify them, and how we can make sure they're transparent, consistent, and not being used to silence disagreements or punish people for expressing frustration.
- Bleed that isn't going away
- Bad feelings from an IC situation
- Bad feelings from an OOC situation
- Feeling punished ICly or OOCly
- Feeling like you are in a no win situation
- OOC feelings bleeding into IC actions
- Game impacting your mental health
- Game impacting your physical health
- Having trouble balancing the game and IRL
What I've seen in my over 23 years, 1 month and 20 days playing and staffing Sindome, is people 'sticking it out' when they are experiencing things that might be better solved by taking a few days or a week off the game to clear their head.
I myself have been a victim of this. It has happened to me. Multiple times. The times that I didn't take a break, things just got worse. My mental health degraded. My responses to normally fairly mundane or benign issues or situations became increasingly erratic or knee-jerk, and eventually, I was either forced to take a break or I got so pissed off that I "quit".
I've seen this play out with admin, and with players, more times than I care to count.
I'm not saying that in every case someone taking a break for a 3-7 days would have solved the problem, but I think in the vast majority of it, taking time off the game has lead to healthier outcomes than just continuing to try to stick it out.
We all have a responsibility to recognize when the game is negatively affecting us and to take steps to address that, including taking breaks when necessary. But I also think we, as a community and as staff, have a responsibility to create an environment where stepping away feels safe, normal, and supported.
Nothing wrong with being attached to your character, but getting so attached that things happening in the game are impacting IRL, is not good. And if that then translates to treating other players or staff poorly, or making decisions your character wouldn't have otherwise made, you're not doing yourself or anyone you're playing with any favors.
I want to change the culture around taking a break. I would prefer this to be something we all police in ourselves, but that isn't always a realistic option. Sometimes, as much as a staffer might tell someone they need to take a break, they just don't. Or they take a few hours when they should have taken a few days.
We don't want someone feeling like they have to log in when they're having a terrible time because they're afraid they'll lose their IC job or get punished for missing an IC obligation. While we can't guarantee that absolutely nothing will happen to your character while you're away, staff can generally help make reasonable accommodations when someone needs time off. That's already something we do, and I want to make sure people know about it.You don't have to be at your breaking point to justify taking a break. You don't even have to be experiencing significant bleed. Sometimes you just need a few days away from the game, and that's perfectly reasonable. I'd rather see people take regular breaks and enjoy the game for years than push themselves until they burn out entirely.
Also there is a difference between experiencing bleed and acting inappropriately because of it. Experiencing bleed isn't misconduct. Having strong emotional reactions isn't misconduct. Even struggling to recognize that you need a break isn't misconduct. However, repeatedly lashing out as a result, is.
I'm looking for a few things from the discussion here:
- How do you recognize when you need a break from Sindome?
- If you've gotten good at stepping away when needed, what's worked for you?
- If you recognize that you should take breaks but struggle to do so, what's getting in the way?
- What could staff or the community do to make taking breaks easier, particularly when someone is worried about IC consequences?
- When someone's behavior is escalating and they aren't stepping away voluntarily, what would a fair and transparent intervention process look like?
Sometimes bleed/other reactions can lead to escalating situations where someone is repeatedly getting into conflicts, behaving inappropriately, or finding themselves unable to disengage. In those circumstances, I think staff should have the ability to intervene, potentially including temporary enforced breaks.
I want us to figure out what those interventions should look like, what objective criteria would justify them, and how we can make sure they're transparent, consistent, and not being used to silence disagreements or punish people for expressing frustration.
JUSTICE