April 5th - 2005
When Jack Bauer gets a concussion, the concussion takes pills for the pain.
If Jack Bauer were to meet Neo in the Matrix, Neo would find out the hard way that there in fact -is- a spoon. When Jack kills him with it.
Jack Bauer doesn't ground Kim, he teaches her a lesson by allowing her to be kidnaped by terrorists.
Everything on Batman's tool belt is a hand me down. From Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer doesn't need satellites, satellites need Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer knows the Terrorists plans before they do. He lets them happen to make his day more interesting.
If someone keys Jack Bauer's car, it takes three minutes and twenty seconds for him to get that persons name. From the paint.
If Jack Bauer joined the Rebel Alliance, 24 hours later there would be no Empire.
Jack Bauer could have gotten the location of the real Rebel base from Princess Leia.
Judge Dredd is Jack Bauer's brother.
When Big Tobacco claimed that cigarettes didn't cause cancer in test subjects, there test subjects were all Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer knows seven words that rhyme with orange.
Kieffer Sutherland plays Jack Bauer on 24. Jack would have played himself but everyone knows you can't see Jack Bauer.
When Jack Bauer jumps out of a plane, the ground falls toward Jack Bauer.
V for Vendetta happens on Jack Bauer's day off.
Contrary to popular belief, two people have survived the Avada Kadva curse. Harry Potter, and Jack Bauer.
If Jack Bauer had been the main character in Stephen King's 'IT' the book would only have been 4 pages long.
The current Super Mario Brothers world speed record is five minutes, nine seconds. Jack Bauer can do it in three.
When Jack Bauer tells bad jokes at a stand-up comedy club, everyone laughs.
Jack Bauer can go Super Sayin 5.
The United States didn't actually drop nuclear bombs on the Japanese during World War II. Little Boy and Fat Man we're code names for Jack Bauer and Steven Sigeal.
If Lee Harvey Oswald had attempted his assassination of J.F.K. in Los Angeles, J.F.K would still be alive.
Jack Bauer showed Tupac how to fake his own death.
(Edited by Nemisis at 2:04 pm on April 5, 2006)
