Unfortunately, it's very easy to fall into the trap of wanting your charcater's description to 'speak' to the viewer, informing them of intimate details, or impressing or drawing them in with it's depth and detail.
The most common mistake made when doing this is the one of imposing some action, feeling, or impression on the viewer. Example's of this (and I'm not targeting any one description or person… just trying to generalize) is using phrases like "You stare deeply into his eyes" or "His build makes you think he's a millitary officer" or "His eyes speak of wisdom and intelligence".
This, while at first glance may seem like a way to get the viewer to think as highly of your charcater as you do, is an imposition upon the viewer. It forces them to do something they don't necessairly want to do. Instead of allowing them to form their own opinion, you're effectively forcing one upon them: Your own.
You have to realize that JoeTheBadAssStreetSam may not -want- to stare deeply into your eyes. Your build may make him think of an amatuer weight lifter, or a wet fish depending on his disposition, background, and mood, and your eyes may say nothing more to him than "Pale Blue", NO MATTER WHAT you may -want- him to think or see in them. Even if your intelligence is through the roof, someone who's as bright as a brick is never going to catch on to that by looking into your eyes.
This is equally true of actions that you preform yourself in the description, such as "When you look at him, he turns to look at you", except you've just had an action imposed upon you, and you don't even know you did it (you don't know when people look at you).
The other thing people do is 'metaposing'. This is where you describe something happening that couldn't really happen, but is immaginable... the type of thing you read about in fantasy novels and cheap romance books. An example of this (and again, I'm just making this up, all relationship to IC descriptions are coincidental) is "His gaze pierces the depth of your soul".
This, while fine when Fabio stares at Juliet in the latest Nora Roberts smut, really has no place in a CP MOO. Not only is it an imposition on the user, is ment to be taken quite literally. It's only a slight improvement to change it to, "like they're staring into the depth of your soul", but really should be dumped entirely as it's a TERRIBLE imposition on the viewer.
When you write you description, don't do it from the perspective of what you'de like people to see. Do it from the position of what other people would really see, and allow them to form their own opinion. I assure you, their opinion, feelings, and impressions will invariably differ from yours. Describe what your charcater looks like. Not how you'de like other people to look at them. People will form their own impressions, feelings, and opinions all on their own.
-Kevlar
P.S. I'm sure most of us have been guilty of this at one time or another, myself included. This wasn't targeted at any one person, so don't get your panties in a bunch if part of your description is similar to the examples given here... I'm sure your not the only one.
