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WTF RSpam

So, I've started doing this now and again on my blog, but here it is on the forums. For fun. Basically, I get a lot of spam, so rather than let it frustrate me, I just make fun of it or critique it or just enjoy it.

Here is one from today:


From:  [email protected]
Subject: Norton SystemWorks 2005 Premier plus Internet Security 2005 - $39.95
Date: October 15, 2005 2:50:26 PM PDT

Macromedia Studio MX 2004 - $54.95
http://Brendan.icetip.com/

People see God every day; they just don't recognize Him.  
Bygone troubles are a pleasure to talk about.     Die, but do not retreat.        
One single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer. Why yes - a bulletproof vest.       A peacock who rests on its feathers is just another turkey.  A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.


Litterally, that is what I was sent. My favorite in there, among many, is 'One single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer. Why yes - a bulletproof vest.

I have come to the conclusion that spam engines are now using random poetry generators, and that this new form of communication and writing is actually of value to the human race. Like, just read that text up there… it is quite lovely, even if it is just chunks of other peoples poetry stuck together at random. There is just something majestic about lines like 'A peacock who rests on its feathers is just another turkey.'

Amazing.

It has progressed to the point where in order for spam engines to get around spam filters they have to build complex content into the false email so it sneaks past. Bastardizing the names of drugs so they don't trip an alarm, putting in random poetry, and signing it with a randomly generated name. They even monkey with the sending dates! (This one apparently has been sent BACK in time...)

Honestly, I think this is a really important cultural development now, does anyone else feel this way? Or has all the spam driven me batty.

*wonders why he doesn't receive any clever spam*

Your eerie enjoyment of solicitation reminds me of demolition man. Although, clever algorithms to avoid spam detection involving poetry is well…poetic. Good stuff.

Here's a couple that I enjoyed.

A fool and his money are soon parted.     .
   Blue are the hills that are far away     .
   Death is the great leveller   .
 It takes two to tango    .     All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy .     Experience is a wonderful thing It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again    

and

hi uncle Man is occasionally what he should be perpetually.,

If (the Germans) could have laughed at him, they could have had their revenge at less cost to mankind,

It is within this fathoms-long carcass, with its mind and its notions, that I declare there is the world, the origin of the world, the cessation of the world and the path leading to the cessation of the world,
Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.

Reefer:  It's probably because you use g-mail, but.. I forwarded you some anyways.

Hah. Gmail. The spamers will crack that holy grail soon enough!

So, I don't know if anyone has noticed, but my @wow has been messages from spam mail for the last, oh, two months.

:)

And it isn't that I enjoy them, it is that they are begining to be culturally interesting. Neat artifacts of the digital world.

Ha, I actually forwared the spam to Reefers account.  Want to know what happened?  I'LL TELL YOU WHAT EFFING HAPPENED!

Dear Comcast High-Speed Internet Customer,

Please read this entire message, review the required action(s) below,
and send a prompt reply message to acknowledge receipt of this email.

Explanation:

We have confirmed that your computer has been involved in transmitting
unsolicited email, an activity that is in violation of the Comcast Terms
of Service Agreement. The reporting parties have provided email header
information, which identifies the IP address of the computer that was
transmitting the email. The IP address listed was one that was assigned
to your computer at the date and time in question.

That's fucked up.

You didn't get in trouble, did you?

It's probably an automated message, or Google reported me.  I am going to call them and bitch about how great there OUTGOING SPAM CATCHING IS compared to how SHITY there INCOMMING SPAM CATCHING is.
*laughs and laughs and laughs*

Oh man…

HAHAHAHAAAa...

okay... better now... *snicker*

Google has yuo!
**image about low mortgage rates**

does not are not by it all !.
got in please the walk it's Sparkle or Spork be on not if and because may get in can in three or.
read it's off and Emu may saw it better it's hold it's too see.
because be far but no a six but.
may on did the very or Broccoli on Pants and an ! together some going , if the them it are some.
want try has and well not ran it some on Chia-pet a clean ,.
play it's no the this on a see.
eat but make and light may Loaf or when a out it three on seven be came not would be fall may.
clean or want some shall or around may give a done but my but.


This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines.  If you would like to not receive newsletters from Lead-Gen Rev Partners
506 W. 19th Street #241
Houston,TX  77008
Phone Number  1(866) 596-5253

Go here:

http://www.filemyhair.com/nomore/

What does your cell phone say about who you are?


Ya got da G*Mobile cell phone. All the numbers on the keypad are blinging diamonds.  
There are 3 different face plates: Platinum, Gold, and Platinum & Gold Swirl.
In case of a Hater Emergency, the cell phone can be used as a gun.
You are a HIP-HOP PRODUCER


Folding out of your phone are a small knife, screwdriver, corkscrew, thermometer, duck whistle, and magnifying glass.
You are a DORK.


Your ring tone is the car horn from the Dukes of Hazzard.
The phones faceplate is the Confederate flag. The phones protective case
isnt a leather sleeve, but tiny denim overalls.
Hanging out of the phones microphone is a piece of straw.
You are a HILLBILLY.


If you are a disheveled old man, sitting on the sidewalk,
slumped against a building, wearing a banana peel on your head
and you holding back your head as whiskey pours down from inside your cell phone…

You are a DRUNKEN HOBO

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The figure fell back a pace or two, regarding the baron meanwhile with a look of
intense terror, and when he had ceased, caught up the stake, plunged it violently
into its body, uttered a frightful howl, and disappeared., The Baron Von
Koeldwethout, of Grogzwig in Germany, was as likely a young baron as you would wish
to see. I needn't say that he lived in a castle, because that's of course; neither
need I say that he lived in an old castle; for what German baron ever lived in a new
one? There were many strange circumstances connected with this venerable building,
among which, not the least startling and mysterious were, that when the wind blew,
it rumbled in the chimneys, or even howled among the trees in the neighboring
forest; and that when the moon shone, she found her way through certain small
loopholes in the wall, and actually made some parts of the wide halls and galleries
quite light, while she left others in gloomy shadow. I believe that one of the
baron's ancestors
, being short of money, had inserted a dagger in a gentleman who called one night
to ask his way, and it was supposed that these miraculous occurrences took place in
consequence. And yet I hardly know how tha! t could have been, either, because the
baron's ancestor, who was an amiable man, felt very sorry afterwards for having
been so rash, and laying violent hands upon a quantity of stone and timber which
belonged to a weaker baron, built a chapel as an apology, and so took a receipt
from Heaven, in full of all demands.
The baron sighed mechanically, at the mention of the word; the figure, brightening
up again, handed him the hunting-knife with the most winning politeness. The figure
looked at the bold Baron of Grogzwig for some time, and then said familiarly,
The figure looked at the bold Baron of Grogzwig for some time, and then said
familiarly, A hoarse murmur arose from the company; every man touched, first the
hilt of his sword, and then the tip of his nose, with appalling significance.

Nor was this the whole extent of the baron's misfortunes. About a year after his
nuptials, there came into the world a lusty young baron, in whose honour a great
many fireworks were let off, and a great many dozens of wine drunk; but next year
there came a young baroness, and next year another young baron, and so on, every
year, either a baron or baroness (and one year both together), until the baron found
himself the father of a small family of twelve. Upon every one of these
anniversaries, the venerable Baroness Von Swillenhausen was nervously sensitive for
the well-being of her child the Baroness Von Koeldwethout and although it was not
found that the good lady ever did anything material towards contributing to her
child's recovery, still she made it a point of duty to be as nervous as possible at
the castle at Grogzwig, and to divide her time between moral observations on the
baron's housekeeping, and bewailing the hard lot of her unhappy daughter. And if the
Baron ! of G
rogzwig, a little hurt and irritated at this, took heart, and ventured to suggest
that his wife was at least no worse off than the wives of other barons, the
Baroness Von Swillenhausen begged all persons to take notice, that nobody but she,
sympathized with her dear daughter's sufferings; upon which, her relations and
friends remarked, that to be sure she did cry a great deal more than her
son-in-law, and that if there were a hard-hearted brute alive, it was that Baron of
Grogzwig. Nor was this the whole extent of the baron's misfortunes. About a year
after his nuptials, there came into the world a lusty young baron, in whose honour
a great many fireworks were let off, and a great many dozens of wine drunk; but
next year there came a young baroness, and next year another young baron, and so
on, every year, either a baron or baroness (and one year both together), until the
baron found himself the father of a small family of twelve. Upon every one of these
anniversaries, the v
enerable Baroness Von Swillenhausen was nervously sensitive for the well-being of
her child the Baroness Von Koeldwethout and although it was not found that the good
lady ever did anything material towards contributing to her child's recovery, still
she made it a point of duty to be as nervous as possible at the castle at Grogzwig,
and to divide her time between moral observations on the baron's housekeeping, and
bewailing the hard lot of her unhappy daughter. And if the Baron ! of Grogzwig, a
little hurt and irritated at this, took heart, and ventured to suggest that his
wife was at least no worse off than the wives of other barons, the Baroness Von
Swillenhausen begged all persons to take notice, that nobody but she, sympathized
with her dear daughter's sufferings; upon which, her relations and friends
remarked, that to be sure she did cry a great deal more than her son-in-law, and
that if there were a hard-hearted brute alive, it was that Baron of Grogzwig. A
hoarse murmu
r arose from the company; every man touched, first the hilt of his sword, and then
the tip of his nose, with appalling significance.
Nor was this the whole extent of the baron's misfortunes. About a year after his
nuptials, there came into the world a lusty young baron, in whose honour a great
many fireworks were let off, and a great many dozens of wine drunk; but next year
there came a young baroness, and next year another young baron, and so on, every
year, either a baron or baroness (and one year both together), until the baron found
himself the father of a small family of twelve. Upon every one of these
anniversaries, the venerable Baroness Von Swillenhausen was nervously sensitive for
the well-being of her child the Baroness Von Koeldwethout and although it was not
found that the good lady ever did anything material towards contributing to her
child's recovery, still she made it a point of duty to be as nervous as possible at
the castle at Grogzwig, and to divide her time between moral observations on the
baron's housekeeping, and bewailing the hard lot of her unhappy daughter. And if the
Baron ! of G
rogzwig, a little hurt and irritated at this, took heart, and ventured to suggest
that his wife was at least no worse off than the wives of other barons, the
Baroness Von Swillenhausen begged all persons to take notice, that nobody but she,
sympathized with her dear daughter's sufferings; upon which, her relations and
friends remarked, that to be sure she did cry a great deal more than her
son-in-law, and that if there were a hard-hearted brute alive, it was that Baron of
Grogzwig.
The figure looked at the bold Baron of Grogzwig for some time, and then said
familiarly,

The advert was a gif attachment for an investment website.