Flax you are experiencing what is commonly known as 'IC/OOC Bleeding' when IC stuff starts to affect you OOC, sometimes its hard to fight this feeling. The most advisable thing to do is take break from the game, if you took this to xhelp, the admins might have decided to hose you as a way to force you take that break for your sake and theirs.
Generally speaking these kind of posts are not well received as you might have noticed, you can try addressing your concerns via [email protected] but maybe give it a day or two to let the bleeding pass before you do, so that you can express yourself with a clear head. But more often than not, taking a break from the game is what is most beneficial for everyone involved, even admins take breaks to put things in perspective.
Some of you may be wondering what's got me bothered, it's past experiences lumping up. It's not fair of me to carry those here, but it's sort of a natural impulse to do so. I'll try to be more sensible in the future.